Trigger warning for violence and sexual assault
I’ve only seen three seconds of pornography. I clicked on a thumbnail on a particular site having read of its popularity in a weekend newspaper. I watched a woman, naked, crouching in front of a man as he thrust his penis in and out of her throat more or less furiously. After they both paused for a rest, he proceeded to slap her many times, with some force across the face, forehand and backhand. After another rest, he repeated the thrusting. At the next break the woman looked at the camera for no more than three seconds and began to cry. Then she recovered herself, or surrendered herself, and the man proceeded again to slap her vigorously across each cheek.
Watching this brought some questions to my mind. Who was this woman? Why was she in this film? Was this nothing more than sexual assault? Was she paid for it? Was this violence consensual? I couldn’t answer all of these questions, but I could see she was a desperate victim; sad, afraid, ashamed and in pain. There was one question I could answer easily. Why was I watching this? Because I thought it would be different, less violent. And because I had read that this is what people are into nowadays. And some of it is more innocent. The next thumbnail was just a couple of young women fooling around with each other. Then I clicked along a couple of pages and saw a woman with her head in the stocks, and again a man thrusting at her face. I knew violent porn existed, but that it sat alongside more apparently innocent images on a popular site amazed me. And this is where the pornographers had made a mistake. I realized they make no distinction between very violent and less violent pornography, that it all sits together happily. Did they expect me not to notice that? Did they expect me not to make a link between one and the other? Of course I’ve watched more than three seconds of pornography, but I’ve only seen pornography for three seconds, when that woman cried to the camera while entertaining a fool like me.
No related posts.
was there no time you thought it was all a carefully scripted affair? it is a grave mistake to take the emotions you see on screen to be the emotions of the real people on it. i agree that this woman being asked to do this to appeal to a certain sadistic audience is twisted in some way but i am wary to accept that anything i see on screen is a genuine emotion.
what makes you wary of it and what does it mean if it is indeed a genuine emotion? does it not mean that pornography is completely void of any empathy or regard for the women who perform in it?
I think it is interesting in this context to have a look at “The truth behind the fantasy of Porn” video on our General resources site in which Shelley Lubben, an ex-pornography performer speaks out about her experiences.
I totally agree with you. It is a ‘grave mistake’ to take the emotions you see on screen to be the emotions of the real people on it. And that is one of the reasons I took up an anti-porn stance. There is another grave mistake actually, and that is to be insensitive to the few opportunities life offers us to see beyond the facade when it cracks.
Johnathan,
After reading your piece here and the comments. All I can say is I have a little hope and I need it in this area so desperately. What gave me hope, is that you seemed concerned. The bad effects and the humiliation, degradation, of women concerned you. Am I right?
A person commented saying something along the lines of you only watching little porn so you don’t know enough to talk. I think it was so brave that you, instead of keeping quiet and watching the awful violence you saw the effects it’s had on society. I as a woman am grateful to any man who is big enough to acknowledge these things and speak out. I admire men who truly care about respect for women. I don’t know what you do in your private time, I’m not assuming that you do or do not watch porn, but I’m saying that I think highly of a person who’s able to speak up about this stuff when so many, like the one who said you don’t know what you’re talking about would prefer keeping it a total secret and watching the women & probably thinking up a plan to do the same violent acts on a woman themselves. It really does affect lives outside the porn industry. That’s where fantasies are created and us, those ‘fantasies’ are made reality at our expense very often. It does happen!
What we truly need to make a drastic change, is for men to stand up beside us women and speak up.
Was there no time you thought that most people cannot create tears and gag on command? How is the woman crying tears not a genuine emotional response? How is the woman choking not a genuine physical response?
So what if it is just scripted dimmu? Is that better or worse than her tears, fear etc. being genuine? Have you asked yourself why there is such a huge market for watching women being humiliated and made to cry during sex, that they bother to script it? What does that say about the men who are consuming it?
You’ve only seen three seconds of pornography? Ah yes, well you clearly have a huge amount of experience in the field and we should listen to you.
Seriously, leave subjects you understand nothing about alone.
@Bjorn The people in pornography are first and foremost ACTORS, however with any act there is an element of an emotional connection – ask any “normal” film or TV actor – they relate to their character, connect on a certain level. This obviously exists to a certain extent in pornography (though the level of acting is admittedly of lower quality, and there is also a level of emotional removal). This is not a bad thing, and some people handle it in different ways. I think there should be more psyche evaluation to see if a person can cope with pornographic acting, but many, many people can and do.
James. It is pretty clear from what I wrote that I have watched more than three seconds of pornography. As for the comment to Bjorn, however talented an actor the protagonist may be, and whatever the scripted dialogue may be, and whatever the costumes, and the lights, there is one problem with pornography that I could not resolve; The penetrative sex is not acted, it is real. A person being penetrated is not a person acting that penetration, any more than Didier Drogba acts the role of a footballer on a saturday afternoon. You say that many people ‘can cope’ with pornographic ‘acting’, but as you say yourself we do not know who those people are, what their circumstances are or will be, and therefore I believe we should not watch. To continue to watch pornography on the grounds that some of the actors ‘can cope’ with what they are doing seems like a spurious and selfish attempt at validation. And to admit that there are those that can’t surely presents reason enough not to watch it.
Ouch, I got censored. I’m putting together my own blog, once it’s done you’re free to come there and enjoy the freedom you abhor here by engaging in any debate you please. Just bring your caustic self on over. But give me a month, I estimate it needs at least 10,000 words to cover the basic territory — territory most anti-porn sites either don’t mention out of convenience or simply don’t know. This site, for instance, is purely about ethics. This leaves out cinematography, history, and semantics. Indeed, only pro-porners can really pursue pornographology. One does not expect a zoologist who hates turtles on moral grounds to be able to study them so well.
Who would have thought anti-porn people would be willing to censor? Haha. That one was a joke!
So, are there like 4 or 5 writers on this site? Is that a lie? It’s just a stunningly large amount, considering how young it is. I mean despite your claim that this site doesn’t advocate any kind of religious viewpoint, I can’t help but hear a religious pulse from time to time. Is that paranoia on my part?
Anyway, please delete all the messages I have left on this site. I’m moving on, and half of them are still awaiting moderation anyway. Moderation is so extreme. Haha.
So long,
Have fun at your undisclosed church,
Prince Thrash
Prince Thrash. Who censored you? Who’s interested in censorship? Who abhors freedom? You do, apparently. How do you know we know nothing of cinematography, history or semantics? We don’t let these things get in the way of the obvious. Do you need to be a nazi to study the holocaust? You can call me a turned pro-porner. I reckon that means I’m one step ahead of you, though I genuinely respect your knowledge. I’m happy to come over to your patch once you’re up and running. By the way, I don’t hate porn merely on moral grounds. Nobody wanted pornography to be ok more than I did. But it isn’t. It’s also the damage done. And who moderated your comments? There are six writers so far, actually. Even more than you thought. And there are more on the way. None of us has more than one name. We don’t need to cheat. And we’re not holding back a load of nasty comments from anyone either. If there is anyone writing on this site that people may think inauthentic, it’s got to be you! You’re too good to be true.
Jonathan, you brought up a very important point – that penetration is not acted, and that it actually happens. Obvious, but so easily overlooked when comparing porn actors to mainstream actors. Pornography devalues the intimacy and value of sex and of relationships in general, and reduces them to the physical act of penis-in-hole.
So, you are admitting that what you are watching is morally dubious (and I’m being generous) since you think people should have a test to see if they can “cope” with what is going on. Have you considered that A.) Most of these women are in dire financial situations, and they’re not doing this for fun. B.) On what are you basing “many, many people can and do” cope with pornographic acting? I can do the same thing. Many, many people can’t and do not cope with pornographic acting….
Also, the situation described above is obviously harmful to this woman’s mental health. How is this woman being choked on a penis and CRYING TEARS “not a bad thing”. Are her tears fake? And if what is happening in the film is so horrible that by connecting to it, an actor cries…..why is not a bad thing for you to masturbate to it?
Watch Stephen Walker’s documentary, “Hardcore” which exposes the LIE that these girls are acting like they are crying, hurting and that actual coercion to do acts they did not consent occur.
We are learning more about porno all the time, and I’m glad that Max Hardcore went to prison for violating the obscenity code.
We need more attention to issues in porn. It is outlawed to be provided to juveniles, yet “I am 18″ click is the only protection in place for Comcast to allow 11-17 year old males access to hard core and violent porn.
There is NO way to guarantee images of paid sex acts (no they are not Actresses they are paid prostitutes) are consensual. Much of sex trafficking of slaves also includes filming them for extra profit.
Why is violence against women when filmed ok?
Watch Stephen Walker’s documentary, “Hardcore” which exposes the LIE that these girls are acting like they are crying, hurting and that actual coercion to do acts they did not consent occur.
We are learning more about porno all the time, and I’m glad that Max Hardcore went to prison for violating the obscenity code.
We need more attention to issues in porn. It is outlawed to be provided to juveniles, yet “I am 18″ click is the only protection in place for Comcast (U.S.) to allow 11-17 year old males access to hard core and violent porn.
There is NO way to guarantee images of paid sex acts (no they are not Actresses they are paid prostitutes) are consensual. Much of sex trafficking of slaves also includes filming them for extra profit.
Why is violence against women when filmed ok? How does it affect young males when they see thousands of violent images of graphic hard core porn before their first kiss with female? How does it affect young females to have young males request them to perform porn acts before they have experienced orgasm? (like my daughter was pressured for anal and cum on her face before she’d had orgasm)
After hearing about this project on Women’s Hour this morning, I thought I’d take a look.
I was initially confused by this post. My first response was “that description alone means he has watched far more than 3 seconds of porn”.
Sorry to get stuck on this point, but really, I spent the first 2 minutes reading your post thinking “hold on, why or HOW has he only watched 3 seconds of porn” and “should we really take his word for anything if he’s only watched 3 seconds of porn”.
I see your point above that it’s obvious that you have watched more than 3 seconds.
But from my perspective, it’s not obvious. It just confused me as to the point of the title.
“There is another grave mistake actually, and that is to be insensitive to the few opportunities life offers us to see beyond the facade when it cracks.” – a beautiful and eloquent point.
I’m with Jonathan on this, but to give James his due, let’s consider the ‘actor’ argument some more. Yes, pornography is a performance of sorts. Back ‘in the day’ the pool guy, pizza delivery or plumber would pop by and we’d even have a semblance of narrative. But let’s be fair James, those days have gone.
Jonathan hasn’t only watched 3 seconds of porn (and you were a bit dumb to think that, sorry) and neither have I. I’ve watched tons of the stuff and to my mind the facade doesn’t only have the occasional crack in it (as poetic as that was), it has gaping chasms.
I appreciate I’m not forming the clearest of arguments here, so back to the actor point. Yes, they are ‘actors’ but isn’t it still concerning if that is the ‘performance’ we want to get our rocks off too? Aren’t we just using the fact it’s (sort of) make believe as a way to make ourselves feel better? I’m criticising myself here, as much as anyone else.
A few years back a mate of mine pointed out a site called something like ‘it’s only chocolate’. The tasteful premise was that naked women would be smeared in chocolate to look like it was shit. But it did look like shit. It looked exactly like shit. I suggested to my friend that he was actually into scat, a suggestion which he vehemently denied. It’s only chocolate, he said.
You get my point. I think I’ve made a point.
He’s into scat.
Man, I know what you mean, There is so much pain and violence in modern-day pornography and so many people don’t even notice anymore. It’s pathetic and saddening that people actually masturbate to this material.
I’m so glad this blog exists!
Love what you said here! I’m so glad it exists too. It’s made me feel so much better after having one shitty day with this ‘topic.’ So comforting to know that there are other people who feel the same and understand
Why is the argument all about whether or not all women in porn are acting or genuinely being raped, or abused, or treated violently? Even if she herself was just acting, there are so many porn performers who have been trafficked there, or who have absolutely no other option, that regardless of whether this one woman was treated badly, there are many others who have. And since this one woman was apparently such a great actor, there is NO way of knowing what is happening off camera on any porn set. Therefore, because you know that there is in a fact a high likelihood that the porn you are watching involved people who are in fact being abused, watching any and all porn is immoral. It’s like trying to guess whether the cow in your hamburger suffered, and assuming that because a small number of them didn’t suffer, your particular hamburger must be pain-free. It makes absolutely no sense. I suspect that this is never talked about because they know that they are actively supporting the mistreatment of women. So maybe if they cry out “she’s acting by choice you fascist!” loud enough, it means they can just ignore that unpleasant fact and keep wanking away at her pain.
Thank you so much for your comment on our site. The points you make are so adequate and further unvocer the physical and mental abuse as well as the exploitation going on in the pornography business. I think it is extremely important to not only think what happens to these women on-screen, but also to think about how they got there. Unfortunately broken homes, sexually and physically abusive parents / partners and trafficking are all too often present in these women’s personal history.
Hi I just wanted to say thanks for this site. I myself am a recovering porn addict. Ive chosen pornography over lots of stuff. Plus every one of my relationships never lasted over 3 months. But thankfully I can say without pornography clouding my mind ive had like an amazing breakthrough. Im now having a great relationship…way way past 3 months btw and its so great. Before I found myself getting bored with regular “vanilla” sex so I looked for more extreme and kinky stuff online. But it got to a point where while sites like “kink.com” were what i was after. Now they say they do not abuse their actors which i respect them somewhat for. It doesnt change what “acting” they do in those scenes. Regardless of what or who is involved the sex is not faked and they do it for money. I must say you bring up very valid points. While people can say that it isnt abused or anything…there is no way to prove they are not. In fact quite the contrary. I would say someone being whipped or worse is proof they are being abused. Either way I admit I still have relapses into porn but I am dealing with it. The truth is without porn I am no longer unconciously undressing people with my eyes. Nor do I get random sex urges except for maybe once every 2 months. But my special someone is awesome with support. She is my rock. And for those who feel they cant give it up. I suggest erotic stories. In those you can clearly see everything. There is only the story and your imagination. No actors to be used or hurt. The words make the context of the story and if you find a violent story simply rate it negatively and dont read it. Once demand goes away there will be no need to make it. Plus if you read a story full of loving content I find you wont have much in the way of guilty feelings as its a story full of the beauty and love two people can have. It isnt about one whipping the other till they scream in pain whether either person is male or female. Although I do have friends who are into bdsm which I respect them but I know they truly love each other and see themselves as far more than just sex objects. It is that which I find ok but in a world where the camera isnt rolling all the time and there is tons of sleaze willing to make a buck off other people and plenty of video editing I say dont watch porn. Find love and one that will love you back. Then once you find that special someone you can discuss what appeals to you and have fun so long as its safe consensual and fun for both. But love has to be there. Otherwise it is just “penis in hole” and just makes it something as compared to finishing a video game on insane difficulty. But thats how I see it. I hope it helps someone and I hope I havent rambled too much.
Male feminists= beta males
Having a bit of emasculation anxiety, eh, Carl?
Male feminists ROCK! A gentle giant is a huge turn on and makes a woman feel amazing.
No one knows what situation the people taking part in pornography are in or what has happened to them. The potential for blackmail, coercion, rape is overwhelming. In my view, it is the small minority who are in control. Anyone who watches porn who does not question the situation of the people involved is irresponsible and fuels the demand for human exploitation and degradation. Do they care? Probably not. In my view they are part of the same problem as those men who use underage girls and trafficked women for sex unquestionably, when they are unable to consent (because they are underage), often battered and brused and can’t even speak their language. It is they who create the demand and the environment for these industries to thrive. Stop watching, start acting.
I was abducted by sex traffickers in 1977 when I was 16 yrs old…I was forced to do pornography…I was controlled by threats,(including a knife to my ribcage and a loaded gun) violent attacks and brutal rapes. I was told to smile and make the erotic moans and sexy puts..and when I cried on set, I was attacked,threatened and raped in my holding room..These ‘smiles’ are the lies that pornographers feed to consumers..who often don’t want to know the truth, for it may spoil their ‘enjoyment’ and we can’t have that..can we…
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. People need to hear what so often really happens in making porn because they just don’t know.
You are welcome…And yes, so many people have no idea of what really goes on out there. Most women and men who are involved in this are either trafficked, or have been abused, and are on drugs, so they carry on that abuse and need the money to finance their drug use, which numbs their pain, and thus are inside a perpetuating cycle that they cannot get out of. I am now an advocate of child sex abuse and It’s many devastating consequences such as this. I paint about these atrocities(you can see them here- http://www.suzzanb.com) and have a book coming out detailing my horrendous story, so that others can be helped or made aware of the awful truth. We all have to spread awareness, because It’s become pandemic and is affecting children’s young minds..and these children are the future porn addicts who will suffer(along with the victims within the realms of pornography)great detrimental effects at the pornographers financial gains.